back from hiatus

i doubt anyone checks this anymore so this will be more of a personal blog for my entertainment. welp i believe this is my fifth day in vietnam once again. this has to be the most boring trip ever since everyone is either pregnant or taking care of the kids they already have. i dont blame them for having sex all the time cuz theres nothing else to do! haha well thats okay cuz i didnt really go here for fun anyways. ive been doing a lot of thinking. more than id like haha. should i move out? should i give him a chance? what the hell am i doing in school? a lot of emo staring out into the sky stuff haha. thank god for internet.

anyways, went to visit my dads my grave today. it's already been a year. its so weird that the last post on here we were all happy and on vacation in vietnam. i am so thankful that my family went when we did. i learned so much about my mom and dad's past and we actually connected as a family. :) happy times. i miss him so much. im reminded of it everytime i see a father with his little daughter walking down the street. such a cute scene. breaks my heart a little though haha. i still dont understand viet people and their obsession with taking pictures at the worse times. why would i want pictures and videos of a funeral? why would i want to take a picture of me smiling next to my dads grave? perhaps this is how they deal with it over here. bit of a culture shock to me still. i wonder if people think im sad about my dads passing. i always try to be strong and make light of the situation because i hate when things get toooo serious. should this be one of those situations where i should stop being independent? i didnt even go to my closest friends when the whole thing happened. it so weird once youre faced with a situation you react totally different than you would have thought. i thought i would have been more like 'fuck that bitchass motherfucker that killed my dad!" but its nothing like that. i dont feel any anger at all. not even revenge. its funny how people try to console you and cheer you up but it just makes things worse. my favorite response is silence. i also hated when someone brought up their own story of death...with like...their dog or something and try to compare. -_- the hell man haha. but i know everyone means well.

random: i think i have a burping problem...